Tuesday, January 25, 2005

suggestion to the unknown neighbor:

If you are incapable of controlling yourself from dumping your numerous liquor bottles on my property, you should consider an alcoholic rehabilitation program. Please realize that littering is an illegal act in this city, especially for repeat offenders. I fear that your wanton disregard for property rights may lead to unwanted civil and/or criminal litigation. You may wish to consider that other residents on this block could be armed, and might mistake you for a burglar as you cowardly carry your rattling bags down the street.

If for some unknown reason this petty vandalism is directed specifically at me, you can rest assured that I have no intention of staying at this location one minute longer than necessary. If this arrangement is unsuitable, please feel free to relocate yourself another place of residence, where your drunken antics might perhaps be less offensive.

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