Saturday, September 11, 2004

You might be a blogger...

(With an insincere apology to Jeff Foxworthy), You might be a blogger, if...

You bought tickets for a cruise on the USS Clueless, and are disappointed that it was cancelled.

You are upset that there was never an X-Files episode about the Volokh Conspiracy.

You name your two dogs Chomps and Scrappleface. They are both Rottweilers.

You develop a love/hate relationship with monkeys, and think there may be an infinite number of them.

You stop hunting ducks because some of them might be right-winged.

You learn to fly because you love jet noise, but it becomes too expensive when you eject!eject!eject! on every flight.

You hope they open an Evangelical Outpost in your local mall.

You demand that your local grocery store begin selling Instapundit, and you ask why they don't stock certain brands of horseshoes and toothbrushes.

You have a framed diploma from the Adam Smith Institute hanging in your office.

You make up nicknames for everyone at work, and they all end in "-pundit".

You start using obscure latin phrases in everyday speech, and you exclaim "delenda est!" every time you finish a meal.

You only let your kids play with little green footballs.

You know what one hand clapping sounds like.

You climb utility poles to listen to the powerline, and to see if Mark Steyn is up there.

You dress up as Aquaman for Halloween, and you dress up as a ninja for all other holidays.

You have drawn outlines of the Northern Alliance and the Bear Flag League on your U.S. map.

You know more about the State Fair of Minnesota than you know about your own state's fair.

You. Include. Periods. Between. Every. Word. You. Type.

You awake every day with a feeling of common sense and wonder.

You don't need to click any of these links to get the jokes.

You thought of more of these and want to add them to the comments section here. (hint, hint...)


Additions: 9-12: SarahK (of IMAO t-shirt fame) has a few more.

9-13: Gut Rumbles has a few too.


Anonymous said...

You don't need to click any of these links to get the jokes.

I'm soooooo busted!

src said...

You get kudo's for the work you do on the blog, but have people leaving email all day wondering why their construction job is at a stand still...

tubetti said... don't know what the hell "cerdipity" means, but it sounds important, and you go there to look at the cartoons anyway.

Michael Thompson said...

Sadly, the last applies to me.

Jack Deth said...

You enjoy 'Absinthe and Cookie' with 'Dizzy-Girl', 'Blackfive', 'Michelle Malkin' and 'Sgt. Stryker' while reading 'The Mudville Gazette'.


Anonymous said...

You answer the phone, "Hello Infidels!"

note: I did that when my boss called. He said, "I am not an infidel." lol
I didn't have the heart to tell him that he really was, unless he was an Islamo-fascist.

-J.A. Olinger of Hello Infidels!

Duane said...

- You want to be a Large Mammal
- You use fisk as a verb
- you know what a "splodeydope" is
- all hail the Emperor!
- you've called upon Amish Tech Support
- you know who the Puppyblender is

Bill Faith said...

You can't decide whether to name your daughter "Michele"
or "Michelle" so you settle on Gnat.

LittleA said...

Great list. There were only a couple I needed the links to understand.

You might be a blogger if you don't find it odd that some of your friends are animals.

(not to mention being an aardvark yourself)

Patrick J. Campion said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Bill Faith said...

I just linked to your post.

You might want to check out the free inbound trackback system available at to make it easier to let you know who's linking to you. If you do, don't try the autoinstall -- Install the script manually.

Hatless in Hattiesburg said...

Thanks for the Haloscan tip, bdfaith. The trackback feature should be set up now, but I can be a little html-impaired sometimes... I did manually 'trackback' a few more links - thanks everybody! Let me know if I've missed yours:

In Bill's World

Jim Spot

Pennsylvanian In Exile

A Little Aardvark

Fraters Libertas