Lanky Skanky Ho

Apologies for the risque-nities; the subject demands them :(

With absolutely no apology to Billy Ray Cyrus, here's "Lanky Skanky Ho".

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Montana was a name
That brought the gal some fame,
The parents once liked her cleancut ways.
But then she did a dance
A-bulgin' from her pants
That made folks want those long-gone days.

She got on MTV
for everyone to see
She's not a little kid no more.
Like Madonna's early years,
Like Gaga, Pink, and Spears,
Now she is this year's singing whore.

But don't tell the ho, the lanky skanky ho,
She's got a really lousy dad.
And if you tell the ho, the lanky skanky ho,
"Get decent" she'll probably get mad.


You can tell your kids
To close their young eyelids,
Ignore the pornographic shows.
Or tell ol' Robin Thicke
"Stop acting like a dick.
Go watch your dad's old videos".

That foam finger was vile.
With writhing so nubile.
She thinks she's giving us a shock.
Playing hooker just for fame -
That act is old and lame.
I'm bored with all the nasty schlock.

But don't tell the ho, the lanky skanky ho,
To stop her epileptic twerk.
And if you tell the ho, the lanky skanky ho,
She'll think her dad's a lazy jerk.


But don't tell the ho, the lanky skanky ho,
She's just another skinny slut.
And if you tell the ho, the lanky skanky ho,
She might go cover up her butt.

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update: as usual, lileks does better, just not by as gargantuan a margin this time imnsho.