Friday, January 09, 2015

that special time of year

(bumped and slightly tweaked)

"WINTER"

(a perennial favorite rant of blogs and email forwarders, slightly edited. source uncertain, possibly michelle catalano.)

You would think people had never seen snow before - the way they react when there's a storm coming in. It's a weird phenomenon that strikes whenever more than three inches of snow is predicted. People start acting as if they had lived in pure sunshine and heat the whole time. OH NO! White stuff falling from the sky! We're all gonna DIE! Please. You all drive Lincoln Navigators and Hummers with twelve-wheel drive. The town will clear the roads within a day and your kids will be throwing snowballs at the neighbor kids within an hour.

I don't know what everyone gets so uptight about. And I certainly don't know why they all feel the need to run to the grocery store as soon as some yahoo on tv says the word “snow”. It's just a gut reaction, I guess. OH NO!! IT'S GOING TO SNOW!! Gather the children!! Man your posts!! DEFCON ONE!!!! And, like a sea of panicky lemmings, they drive en masse to their local delis and supermarkets and Dairy Barns, stocking up on milk and bread. Yes, milk and bread. It's an interesting phenomenon that's been around for as long as I can remember. There must be some forgotten urban legend that wove its way around decades ago. A suburban family wakes one morning to find that it has snowed. The mom goes into the kitchen only to find that there is only a half quart of milk and two slices of bread left! The horror!... And oh, irony of ironies, the deli just two blocks away has one gallon of fresh, whole milk left and one loaf of white bread on the shelf. If only there were some way to get two blocks away with having to trudge through the monster snow storm that dumped two inches of the white stuff all over town!

Not only that, snowstorms are like crack to the media. Why is it earth shattering news that it's freezing outside? Is this something new? Are you touting some kind of bizarro-world global-un-warming theory? Seriously, give up on that idiotic "Storm of the Century"tm meme. Since the life expectancy in this land is about 75 years and rising, the odds are pretty good that we'll see at least one of the real things, and you lose every last shred of credibility when you blurt out "Storm of the Century"tm every time the drifts get up to your ankles.

IT'S WINTER. Say it with me. WIN-TER. You know, that time of year when temperatures plummet and white stuff falls from the sky and your car battery dies and the homeless are rounded up and thrown into shelters and the snot running out of some kid's nose freezes to his face.

So I don't understand why you think it necessary to lead every news hour with the revelation that it is COLD and possibly SNOWING outside. As if this were some strange, new feeling for us. As if we never saw ice on our windshields or snow on the ground. You grab your camera crew and stand outside schools and offices and Home Depots and marvel at the people wearing hats and scarves and mittens because "This has never happened before! We wear bikinis and speedos all year long!! Is this really breaking news? Do you realize that for the last ten winters in row, maybe more, you have started your nightly newscasts with stories about how to keep warm? Does this seem just a bit unnecessary to you? Granted, it's not like we are living in northern Siberia, but we are kind of used to 15-degree days. It happens. It's WINTER. We really don't need some "expert" staring at us from the tv telling us to wear layers and eat a good breakfast and warm our cars up. Seriously, I hope Jack Frost freezes your mouths shut this year.

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Prince of Peace

Isaiah 9:2-7

The people who walk in darkness
Will see a great light;
Those who live in a dark land,
The light will shine on them.
You shall multiply the nation,
You shall increase their gladness;
They will be glad in Your presence
As with the gladness of harvest,
As men rejoice when they divide the spoil.
For You shall break the yoke of their burden and the staff on their shoulders,
The rod of their oppressor, as at the battle of Midian.
For every boot of the booted warrior in the battle tumult,
And cloak rolled in blood, will be for burning, fuel for the fire.
For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us;
And the government will rest on His shoulders;
And His name will be called
Wonderful Counselor,
Mighty God,
Eternal Father,
Prince of Peace.
There will be no end to the increase of His government or of peace,
On the throne of David and over his kingdom,
To establish it and to uphold it with justice and righteousness
From then on and forevermore.
The zeal of the Lord of hosts will accomplish this.

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Thanks Giving

Psalm 107 (NASB)

-------+++++++-------

O give thanks to the LORD, for He is good,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting.
Let the redeemed of the LORD say so,
Whom He has redeemed from the hand of the adversary
And gathered from the lands,
From the east and from the west,
From the north and from the south.


---+++---

They wandered in the wilderness in a desert region;
They did not find a way to an inhabited city.
They were hungry and thirsty;
Their soul fainted within them.

Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble;
He delivered them out of their distresses.
He led them also by a straight way,
To go to an inhabited city.

Let them give thanks to the LORD for His lovingkindness,
And for His wonders to the sons of men!
For He has satisfied the thirsty soul,
And the hungry soul He has filled with what is good.

-+-

There were those who dwelt in darkness and in the shadow of death,
Prisoners in misery and chains,
Because they had rebelled against the words of God
And spurned the counsel of the Most High.
Therefore He humbled their heart with labor;
They stumbled and there was none to help.

Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble;
He saved them out of their distresses.
He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death
And broke their bands apart.

Let them give thanks to the LORD for His lovingkindness,
And for His wonders to the sons of men!
For He has shattered gates of bronze
And cut bars of iron asunder.

-+-

Fools, because of their rebellious way,
And because of their iniquities, were afflicted.
Their soul abhorred all kinds of food,
And they drew near to the gates of death.

Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble;
He saved them out of their distresses.
He sent His word and healed them,
And delivered them from their destructions.

Let them give thanks to the LORD for His lovingkindness,
And for His wonders to the sons of men!
Let them also offer sacrifices of thanksgiving,
And tell of His works with joyful singing.

-+-

Those who go down to the sea in ships,
Who do business on great waters;
They have seen the works of the LORD,
And His wonders in the deep.
For He spoke and raised up a stormy wind,
Which lifted up the waves of the sea.
They rose up to the heavens, they went down to the depths;
Their soul melted away in their misery.
They reeled and staggered like a drunken man,
And were at their wits' end.

Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
And He brought them out of their distresses.
He caused the storm to be still,
So that the waves of the sea were hushed.
Then they were glad because they were quiet,
So He guided them to their desired haven.

Let them give thanks to the LORD for His lovingkindness,
And for His wonders to the sons of men!
Let them extol Him also in the congregation of the people,
And praise Him at the seat of the elders.

---+++---

He changes rivers into a wilderness
And springs of water into a thirsty ground;
A fruitful land into a salt waste,
Because of the wickedness of those who dwell in it.

He changes a wilderness into a pool of water
And a dry land into springs of water;
And there He makes the hungry to dwell,
So that they may establish an inhabited city,
And sow fields and plant vineyards,
And gather a fruitful harvest.
Also He blesses them and they multiply greatly,
And He does not let their cattle decrease.

When they are diminished and bowed down
Through oppression, misery and sorrow,
He pours contempt upon princes
And makes them wander in a pathless waste.

But He sets the needy securely on high away from affliction,
And makes his families like a flock.
The upright see it and are glad;
But all unrighteousness shuts its mouth.

---+++---

Who is wise?
Let him give heed to these things,
And consider the lovingkindnesses of the LORD.


-------+++++++-------

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

the cognitive dissonance was deafening

at work after the election, one person told us about having voted straight-ticket democrat and being sad that none of them won.

at work tonight, the same person was railing against political machines.

i'm guessing they've never been to chicago.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

which is worse:

that certain communities have never understood civil society, or that they admire people who keep them ignorant for money and power?

Saturday, November 22, 2014

thank goodness

that you don't have to live through these mcsweeneys thanksgivings:

Butterball Helpline Helpline
Pardoned Turkeys
An Ill-Informed First Thanksgiving

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

pun of the day

my pleas for a quieter workplace have fallen on deaf ears.

Saturday, November 08, 2014

Saturday, October 25, 2014

Ebola panic in New York

Here are some reasons that New Yorkers are upset about Ebola reaching their city:

1) The virus is not gluten-free.
2) It is not locally-grown.
3) It leaves a large carbon footprint as it flies across the ocean.
4) Ebola won't fit in a 16oz. cup.
5) Its name mocks the name of their tri-syllabic Saint Obama (PBUH).
6) It is unsustainable.
7) Opposition to any lifeform from Africa appears racist.
8) The virus is waging a war on womyn.
9) Its symptoms include reddening.
10) It shows that there are some undocumented immigrants New Yorkers are opposed to after all.

Can you think of any others?

Friday, October 24, 2014

Move along, no bias to see here

update 1: it's october, no surprise. i just wanted to bump this to the top in time for the midterm elections.

scary, isn't it?

update 2: an additional source (some overlap this list, some are different)

---

Irritable Pundit via IMAO:
So, in just one day we had approximately 17 times as much coverage of a political traffic jam in New Jersey, as we did of Obama's use of the IRS as a political weapon for six long months. No, seriously.
see also...

Well, i was going to just note a few of the under-reported missteps, misdeeds, misdemeanors, felonies, and treasons that obama has inflicted on America, then i found some much-more-thorough sources (primarily InvestmentWatch). Brace yourself:

  • "Green" payments and bankruptcies of Solyndra, NextEra, Ener1, Solar Trust and many others
  • Refusal to enforce federal immigration laws
  • AP Spying
  • Rosengate
  • Jeremiah Wright
  • Sequestration
  • Eric Holder Serial Perjury
  • The ATF “Fast and Furious”
  • Sebelius ObamaCare Bribery
  • Sponsored performances by radical rappers like Michael Franti and Common, both of whose lyrics are anti-police, anti-white, and anti-America
  • The Pigford scandal
  • Blocking WW2 veterans from their memorial while having fundraisers on other government facilities.
  • GSA gone wild
  • Veterans Affairs in Disney World
  • Hosted at the White House many Islamist members of groups associated with Hamas, the Muslim Brotherhood, etc
  • Sebelius violates the Hatch Act
  • AKA Lisa Jackson
  • Failure to prosecute The New Black Panthers
  • Violation of War Powers Act in Libya
  • Obama’s Solicitor General (and now Supreme Court Justice) Elena Kagan prevented the families of 9/11 victims from appealing their lawsuits against the Saudi royal family for financing the 9/11 attacks
  • Biden press bullying
  • Intentionally misquotes the Declaration of Independence
  • Intentionally blundered oath of office to avoid swearing on the Bible
  • Paid David Axelrod, AKPD Message and Media, to promote passage of Obamacare
  • Lied about his close associations with former Weather Underground terrorist Bill Ayers
  • Labeled Nidal Malik Hasan's terrorist shooting as “workplace violence”
  • The 2009 National Christmas Tree in the White House was decorated with ornaments depicting Chairman Mao, a drag queen, and a picture of Mount Rushmore with Obama’s head next to George Washington’s.
  • Air Force One Manhattan flyover
  • False “recess appointments” to avoid Senate approval
  • Obama’s own author bio in his literary agent’s catalog and on their Web site stated for 17 consecutive years that he was born in Kenya; this claim remained intact despite other portions of the bio being altered and updated repeatedly. It was only in 2007 after he decided to run for the presidency that the “born in Kenya” claim was taken down.
  • Compelled Catholic and other religious organizations to provide health plans with free contraception
  • Ignored Simpson-Bowles commission recommendations
  • Joe Sestak forced to drop out
  • Efforts to bankrupt the coal industry
  • Selective Law Enforcement
  • Sided with Argentina in its new claim on the Falklands
  • Repeatedly broke “No family making less than $250,000 will see any form of tax increase” campaign promise
  • America’s credit rating was downgraded
  • $800 billion in stimulus cash for “shovel-ready” jobs that didn’t exist
  • Defied “WARN Act” and told defense contractors to delay layoff notices until after 2012 election
  • Illegally ending the welfare-to-work requirements
  • Big-Brother-style “Attack Watch”, “Flag@Whitehouse.gov”, and “Truth Team”
  • Insulting ally Israel: 1967 border demand, Benjamin Netanyahu feud, bowing to Arab tyrants
  • Appointed his own underage daughters as “senior staff members” so that their vacation to Africa would be paid for with taxpayer money
  • "Choom Gang"
  • Sided with Hugo Chavez and the Castro regime regarding the Honduran Constitutional Crisis of 2009
  • Promoted Cap and Trade energy tax
  • Exposing Navy SEALs to retaliation
  • Sharyl Attkisson’s computer hacking
  • Joe “the Plumber” Wurzelbacher defamation
  • “The future must not belong to those who slander The Prophet of Islam”
  • “you didn’t build that”
  • Canceled plans to complete a missile defense shield in Poland
  • Established list of people (including Americans) Obama claims the right to kill on sight, and then bragged about it
  • Hired tax cheat Timothy Geithner to be Secretary of the Treasury
  • Appointed Maoist Anita Dunn to be White House Communications Director
  • Appointed Communist Van Jones, who supported a “9/11 Truth” petition, to be “Green Jobs Czar.”
  • Appointed John Holdren, forced mass sterilzation advocate, to be Science Czar.
  • Appointed Steven Chu, who openly advocates artificial energy price increases, to be Secretary of Energy.
  • Appointed Kevin Jennings, who promoted X-rated “sex-positive” textbooks for 13-year-olds, instructed teenagers at a conference how to perform “fisting”, refused to report instances of statutory rape, and expressed admiration for a member of NAMBLA, to be America’s “Safe School’s Czar.”
  • Cash for Clunkers
  • Blocked continued construction of the Keystone Pipeline, which intentionally reduced energy resources for the US and forced Canada to sell more of its oil to China
  • Promised Putin to cave in to Russian demands
  • Obama praised anti-Western anti-Israel academic Edward Said
  • Numerous visits from Union boss and far-left activist Andy Stern
  • National Debt Ceiling flip-flop, then doubling the National Debt
  • GM & Chrysler buyout, a.k.a. Union payola
  • Implicit approval of anti-Romney campaign ads which threatened violence against Republicans
  • Appointing numerous unconstitutional and unaccountable "czars"
  • Aided and abetted the “Arab Spring” which replaced existing secular governments with hardline Islamists
  • Refused to aid secular Iranian uprising
  • Shut down oil drilling in the US, then lent $2 billion to support Brazil's government-controlled oil drilling effort
  • Interfering with voter fraud prosecutions
  • Nakoula Basseley Nakoula arrest
  • Ordered NASA to prioritize “Muslim outreach.”
  • Obamacare waivers to political friends
  • Inspector General Gerald Walpin retaliatory firing
  • Alejandro Mayorkas Influence Peddling
  • Increased food stamp dependency to 15% of the nation’s population
  • Obama campaign disabled the credit card verification system for Web site donations
  • "57 states" *
  • "marine corpse" *
and of course Benghazi, which includes:
  • The failure of administration to protect the Benghazi mission.
  • Talking points changed to falsely blame an anti-Muslim video
  • The refusal of the White House to say what President Obama did the night of the attack
  • Relied on an Islamic fundamentalist militia group called “The Martyrs of the February the 17th Revolution Brigade” to provide security at the American mission in Benghazi
(sorry for the inconsistent tenses, capitalization, punctuation, etc. i might try to find links for each story later - if i have a spare week. the wikipedia category is a start)

update: welcome imao readers, and thanks to the anonymous commenter for two additions (marked *)

Friday, October 17, 2014

White Male Privilege (tm)

Matt Walsh revokes Kira's "Get Out of Thinking" card in this must-read-the-entire-article including page two.

(sadly, the people i know who need to read this won't)

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Friday, October 10, 2014

seen online

I just saw this photo of Kristen Stewart where she has an expression on her face.