Friday, February 20, 2015

SNL40

After the Saturday Night Live 40th Anniversary Special was advertised as "One Night Only", it will play again in a few days. When asked whether the slogan was false advertising, an unnamed NBC spokesperson said no, that it was just mis-repeated.

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

on islam

two quotes at lileks today:

"no matter how many skulls (islamic terrorists) heap, the moon on their banners will still have an American flag planted on its surface, and they are utterly incapable of doing anything about it."

"Islam: you can practice it peacefully, and many do, but it's not designed that way. Just as you can practice Christianity militantly, but it's not designed that way."

late valentine

first, i forgot to relink the classic "practical valentine".

second, i was listening to online indie music today, and heard several very odd romantic-ish lyrics:
"your lips were like two strips of bacon"
"i used to shower for you, now i rarely bathe"
"love is an open door to a book of your bad poetry"

third, weird al sends mandatory valentines:


Friday, February 13, 2015

obamalogical

via liberal logic via imao



very similar in concept to "the beatings will continue until morale improves" philosophy

Thursday, February 05, 2015

I don't see what all the fuss is about

update 3: Brian Williams has been suspended for doing what all the talking heads do.

update 2: welcome imao readers :)

update 1: in the interest of piling on, i fired up photoshop tonight:


(reference link for our younger audience)

--

(many separate links)

Brian Williams is just speaking his father's language - as always, just like the rest of his family.

--

On the lighter side, some highlights from #BrianWilliamsMisremembers

















and in time for valentines:









Friday, January 09, 2015

that special time of year

(bumped and slightly tweaked)

"WINTER"

(a perennial favorite rant of blogs and email forwarders, slightly edited. source uncertain, possibly michelle catalano.)

You would think people had never seen snow before - the way they react when there's a storm coming in. It's a weird phenomenon that strikes whenever more than three inches of snow is predicted. People start acting as if they had lived in pure sunshine and heat the whole time. OH NO! White stuff falling from the sky! We're all gonna DIE! Please. You all drive Lincoln Navigators and Hummers with twelve-wheel drive. The town will clear the roads within a day and your kids will be throwing snowballs at the neighbor kids within an hour.

I don't know what everyone gets so uptight about. And I certainly don't know why they all feel the need to run to the grocery store as soon as some yahoo on tv says the word “snow”. It's just a gut reaction, I guess. OH NO!! IT'S GOING TO SNOW!! Gather the children!! Man your posts!! DEFCON ONE!!!! And, like a sea of panicky lemmings, they drive en masse to their local delis and supermarkets and Dairy Barns, stocking up on milk and bread. Yes, milk and bread. It's an interesting phenomenon that's been around for as long as I can remember. There must be some forgotten urban legend that wove its way around decades ago. A suburban family wakes one morning to find that it has snowed. The mom goes into the kitchen only to find that there is only a half quart of milk and two slices of bread left! The horror!... And oh, irony of ironies, the deli just two blocks away has one gallon of fresh, whole milk left and one loaf of white bread on the shelf. If only there were some way to get two blocks away with having to trudge through the monster snow storm that dumped two inches of the white stuff all over town!

Not only that, snowstorms are like crack to the media. Why is it earth shattering news that it's freezing outside? Is this something new? Are you touting some kind of bizarro-world global-un-warming theory? Seriously, give up on that idiotic "Storm of the Century"tm meme. Since the life expectancy in this land is about 75 years and rising, the odds are pretty good that we'll see at least one of the real things, and you lose every last shred of credibility when you blurt out "Storm of the Century"tm every time the drifts get up to your ankles.

IT'S WINTER. Say it with me. WIN-TER. You know, that time of year when temperatures plummet and white stuff falls from the sky and your car battery dies and the homeless are rounded up and thrown into shelters and the snot running out of some kid's nose freezes to his face.

So I don't understand why you think it necessary to lead every news hour with the revelation that it is COLD and possibly SNOWING outside. As if this were some strange, new feeling for us. As if we never saw ice on our windshields or snow on the ground. You grab your camera crew and stand outside schools and offices and Home Depots and marvel at the people wearing hats and scarves and mittens because "This has never happened before! We wear bikinis and speedos all year long!! Is this really breaking news? Do you realize that for the last ten winters in row, maybe more, you have started your nightly newscasts with stories about how to keep warm? Does this seem just a bit unnecessary to you? Granted, it's not like we are living in northern Siberia, but we are kind of used to 15-degree days. It happens. It's WINTER. We really don't need some "expert" staring at us from the tv telling us to wear layers and eat a good breakfast and warm our cars up. Seriously, I hope Jack Frost freezes your mouths shut this year.

Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Prince of Peace

Isaiah 9:2-7

The people who walk in darkness
Will see a great light;
Those who live in a dark land,
The light will shine on them.
You shall multiply the nation,
You shall increase their gladness;
They will be glad in Your presence
As with the gladness of harvest,
As men rejoice when they divide the spoil.
For You shall break the yoke of their burden and the staff on their shoulders,
The rod of their oppressor, as at the battle of Midian.
For every boot of the booted warrior in the battle tumult,
And cloak rolled in blood, will be for burning, fuel for the fire.
For a child will be born to us, a son will be given to us;
And the government will rest on His shoulders;
And His name will be called
Wonderful Counselor,
Mighty God,
Eternal Father,
Prince of Peace.
There will be no end to the increase of His government or of peace,
On the throne of David and over his kingdom,
To establish it and to uphold it with justice and righteousness
From then on and forevermore.
The zeal of the Lord of hosts will accomplish this.

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Thanks Giving

Psalm 107 (NASB)

-------+++++++-------

O give thanks to the LORD, for He is good,
For His lovingkindness is everlasting.
Let the redeemed of the LORD say so,
Whom He has redeemed from the hand of the adversary
And gathered from the lands,
From the east and from the west,
From the north and from the south.


---+++---

They wandered in the wilderness in a desert region;
They did not find a way to an inhabited city.
They were hungry and thirsty;
Their soul fainted within them.

Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble;
He delivered them out of their distresses.
He led them also by a straight way,
To go to an inhabited city.

Let them give thanks to the LORD for His lovingkindness,
And for His wonders to the sons of men!
For He has satisfied the thirsty soul,
And the hungry soul He has filled with what is good.

-+-

There were those who dwelt in darkness and in the shadow of death,
Prisoners in misery and chains,
Because they had rebelled against the words of God
And spurned the counsel of the Most High.
Therefore He humbled their heart with labor;
They stumbled and there was none to help.

Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble;
He saved them out of their distresses.
He brought them out of darkness and the shadow of death
And broke their bands apart.

Let them give thanks to the LORD for His lovingkindness,
And for His wonders to the sons of men!
For He has shattered gates of bronze
And cut bars of iron asunder.

-+-

Fools, because of their rebellious way,
And because of their iniquities, were afflicted.
Their soul abhorred all kinds of food,
And they drew near to the gates of death.

Then they cried out to the LORD in their trouble;
He saved them out of their distresses.
He sent His word and healed them,
And delivered them from their destructions.

Let them give thanks to the LORD for His lovingkindness,
And for His wonders to the sons of men!
Let them also offer sacrifices of thanksgiving,
And tell of His works with joyful singing.

-+-

Those who go down to the sea in ships,
Who do business on great waters;
They have seen the works of the LORD,
And His wonders in the deep.
For He spoke and raised up a stormy wind,
Which lifted up the waves of the sea.
They rose up to the heavens, they went down to the depths;
Their soul melted away in their misery.
They reeled and staggered like a drunken man,
And were at their wits' end.

Then they cried to the LORD in their trouble,
And He brought them out of their distresses.
He caused the storm to be still,
So that the waves of the sea were hushed.
Then they were glad because they were quiet,
So He guided them to their desired haven.

Let them give thanks to the LORD for His lovingkindness,
And for His wonders to the sons of men!
Let them extol Him also in the congregation of the people,
And praise Him at the seat of the elders.

---+++---

He changes rivers into a wilderness
And springs of water into a thirsty ground;
A fruitful land into a salt waste,
Because of the wickedness of those who dwell in it.

He changes a wilderness into a pool of water
And a dry land into springs of water;
And there He makes the hungry to dwell,
So that they may establish an inhabited city,
And sow fields and plant vineyards,
And gather a fruitful harvest.
Also He blesses them and they multiply greatly,
And He does not let their cattle decrease.

When they are diminished and bowed down
Through oppression, misery and sorrow,
He pours contempt upon princes
And makes them wander in a pathless waste.

But He sets the needy securely on high away from affliction,
And makes his families like a flock.
The upright see it and are glad;
But all unrighteousness shuts its mouth.

---+++---

Who is wise?
Let him give heed to these things,
And consider the lovingkindnesses of the LORD.


-------+++++++-------

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

the cognitive dissonance was deafening

at work after the election, one person told us about having voted straight-ticket democrat and being sad that none of them won.

at work tonight, the same person was railing against political machines.

i'm guessing they've never been to chicago.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

which is worse:

that certain communities have never understood civil society, or that they admire people who keep them ignorant for money and power?

Saturday, November 22, 2014

thank goodness

that you don't have to live through these mcsweeneys thanksgivings:

Butterball Helpline Helpline
Pardoned Turkeys
An Ill-Informed First Thanksgiving

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

pun of the day

my pleas for a quieter workplace have fallen on deaf ears.

Saturday, November 08, 2014