Tuesday, November 07, 2006

helpful begging hints

As a follow-up to my previous post of helpful telemarketing hints, here are some helpful begging hints (inspired by the less-than-utterly-pleasant events of this evening):

1. You are less likely to succeed in begging from a person who is in the middle of changing a flat tire.
2. Note that the tire iron that the person is currently using to change the tire could easily be used to alter your state of health and/or life. Remember:
  • It is only their goodwill and lack of fear that prevents such alterations from occuring.
  • Make your request in a manner that does not tax those inclinations.
  • Continuing to beg after the person has given you money and returned to their task of changing the aforementioned flat tire is not the wisest choice under such circumstances.
3. You are less likely to succeed in begging if the only intelligible words from your mouth are "know what i'm sayin?".
4. Consider yourself extremely fortunate for any change received under such circumstances, perhaps even to the point of thanking the person for their donation to your self-destructive cause.

p.s. In retrospect, it is possible that the beggar who inspired this post did in fact thank me, insofar as the phrase "hnnnm ftdin yrchaah" may be interpreted as "thanks".

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

i would also like to suggest that a person not beg in the middle of stop-and-go traffic in construction-zone traffic on any highway.