we're all invited

Wuzzadem clarifies Mohammad's (PBUH) invitation:

The Sunni Invite:

Ayman al-Zawahiri, Adam Gadahn (aka, "Azzam the American") & Members of al-Qaeda cordially invite all Westerners to convert to Islam, or have your heads separated from your bodies. The choice is yours. Submit to our oppressive brutality willfully or have it rain upon you like a thousand heat-seeking, razor-sharp knives that have your name engraved on both sides of each blade. Oh, and by the way, you must convert to Sunni Islam, not Shi'a Islam, as such heresy will be dealt with just as severely.

RSVP We look forward to you joining Islam/al Qaeda. Please reply by (a date determined by us.) Let's just say soon, to be on the safe side. Name: _________________ Number of persons converting: ________

The Shiite Invite:

Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, Sheikh Hassan Nasrallah & Members of Hezbollah cordially invite all Westerners to convert to Islam or we will nuke you to kingdom come. The choice is yours. Submit to our oppressive brutality willfully or we will develop enough nuclear weapons to exterminate you, once and for all. Oh, and by the way, you must convert to Shi'a Islam, not Sunni Islam, as such heresy will be dealt with just as severely.

RSVP We look forward to you joining Islam/Hezbollah. Please reply by (a date determined by us.) Don't push your luck. Name: _________________ Number of persons converting: ________

The classic lose-lose-lose situation.

Vasko Kohlmayer and The Reaganette have a similar take:

Militant Islam has indeed much to offer. No matter how strange or twisted your desires may be, they will surely not be left unsatisfied. There is truly a wealth of options.

If you are into blood and gore, for example, they will let you carry out your own beheadings. As an extra bonus, you can have your act videotaped and posted on the internet.

If you are fed up with life and want to put an end to it all, you can become a suicide bomber.

If you do not feel like meeting your virgins just yet but enjoy watching other people die, you can take participate in planning and executing various terrorist plots. Again, there is wide choice to satisfy your particular bent. You can take part in everything ranging from attempting to poison water supplies through blowing up night clubs and trains to bombing planes for that added air excitement twist.

If you are a more gentle type and enjoy community living, you can relocate to one of the societies run by al-Qaida types. There you can enjoy the brotherhood in addition to the dysfunctionality, backwardness, corruption and misogyny that invariably accompany it. You are, however, advised to take care, because if you depart from the orthodoxy in word or deed it may be you that will end up headless...

All that and burkas, sanctioned rape, stonings, the murder of all homosexuals (and those of other unusual proclivities), massive taxation, pre-medieval living, no ham or bacon... gee, I can't imagine why I and other common-sense Americans prefer to fight this evil with all our might.