WASHINGTON, DC - In a far-reaching decision that will likely create complicated consequences for the American livestock and wedding-planning industries, the Supreme Court this morning ruled 5-4 that all US marriage dowries "must include three non-diseased oxen."...
Besides expanding the rights of male clanspeople in dowry disputes, the sweeping 600 page Supreme Court opinion clarified U.S. law across a broad spectrum of civil, economic and traffic codes. Among the highlights:
Citing EU and Belgian case law, the Court declared that signage on U.S. Interstate Highways must be translated to both French and Flemish by 2007.
The Court also reconciled a number of conflicting Japanese/US traffic standards, ruling that starting Friday, motorists may drive on either side of American roads.
In another civil finding, the Court noted prevailing Nepalese-Canadian-Yemeni standards in opening the way for legalized stonings at arranged gay marriages...
In a surprise finding, the Court ruled itself unconstitional; but, citing the tradition of international courts ignoring US court rulings, said that this ruling itself was unconstitutional.
In a related case, the Court is expected to rule sometime in late March whether Ashley Helverson and fiance Jason Garcia can be extradited to Saudi Arabia to face the death penalty for fornication.
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See also CadetHappy's photo of the story at IMAO.
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