swine flu symptoms

With yet another insincere apology to Jeff Foxworthy, you might have the swine flu:

• if you stutter when annoyed by Daffy Duck.
• if you want to drive a Harley to Fayetteville AR.
• if you demand that your office be rebuilt using hay or sticks.
• if you befriend spiders.
  
• if you run around house saying "bacon bacon bacon bacon bacon I SMELL BACON!!!".
• if porkbarrel spending suddenly appeals to you.
• if you crave Green Jellö.
  
• if it sounds like "achoink!" when you sneeze.
• if you suffer from lobophobia.
• if you want to herd sheep in Australia.
• if you enjoy mudbaths waaaaaaay too much.
  

p.s. you may want to check your b.h.o. infatuation symptoms as well.