repost: Oliver Stone's "Alexander"

(A slightly edited repost of this from last June, when I first heard that the movie was in production.)

Oliver Stone is making a movie about Alexander the Great. Given the "factual accuracy" of his previous movies, here are some enhancements Mr. Stone may be considering:

• A bungled break-in at the Library of Alexandria, resulting in an eighteen minute gap in several parchments.
  
  
• A detailed explanation of the "Magic Phalanx Theory".
  
  
• Drugged-out Alexander collapses in battle while yelling "I am the Lizard King!".
  
  
• Quote: "It's a mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma wrapped in a pita bread with some feta cheese!"
  
  
• Odd flashback sequences in the style of "Father Knows Best".
  
  
• Bucephalas is the name of Alexander's black Huey helicopter.
  
  
• Discovery that his father Philip was actually assassinated by Jack Ruby (who was working for the Persian Mafia).
  
  
• Working title: "Born in the Summer of 356 BC".