turning the phrase

two great paragraphs from lileks today, on two barely related topics:

from the bleat - rough surf warning:

"The little time I spent on the internet consisted of random clicking on various blogs, most of which were unreadable Serious Deeply Concerned and Troubled accounts of things that Ought to make the Murcanpeeple Angry, but don’t, because they’re all fat-bottomed idiots who run Bill O’Reilly transcripts through the shredder and roll the pieces into small, informative suppositories. Whatever. Thaaaat’s right. Everyone who doesn’t want impeachment is an idiot, just like everyone who didn’t think Bill Clinton personally dragged dead boys onto train tracks to cover up his coke ring was a Commie-Nazi who probably believes Vince Foster killed himself and Ron Brown wasn't shot down by Chinese spaceships. When I’m in this mood the entire Internet is annoying, and I should just go sit outside and throw grapes at the squirrels."

from the screed - a "captured document" from an alqaeda leader:

"Finally, patience is our ally. We need not defeat the Americans, only outlast them. Have they not abandoned every battlefield they ever entered? Besides Germany, Japan, Korea, Kosovo and Afghanistan, of course. But just as they left Somalia when their “Democrats” took power, so will they leave Iraq when the criminal Zionist Bush regime is replaced by a slightly less criminal, albeit equally Zionist, Democratic regime. The Democrats wish to quit the war and return to their important issues, such as permitting men to marry, have a child with the cloning of cells, and then abort it. Such a people cannot fight; they can only beseech the United Nations to send Danes to frown from great distances. And I need not remind you that no one was ever killed by a 226 kilogram laser-guided Dane."