Thursday, May 18, 2006

Happy Crack

Due to a Pittsburgh elementary school's zero-tolerance policies, fourteen students have been suspended for bringing "happy crack" (a mixture of kool-aid and sugar) to school.

...and in related news, the school is rumored to start enforcing their zero-tolerance much more strictly, including:
  • removing all grass from the playground

  • disallowing snow days

  • eliminating field trips

  • expelling children named Barbie, Benny, Bud, Mary Jane, and Mickey

  • removing all pots from the cafeteria kitchen

  • replacing all windows and sidewalks that have cracks

  • removing the letter "X" from the alphabet

  • eliminating the term "acid" from chemistry class

  • reducing the speed limit to zero in school zones

No comments: