C.O.S.

Lileks has discovered the basic canine operating system. I've translated it from basic to java-esque-two:

if (intruder != alpha dog);
{
    bark
}
else
{
    while (food > 0);
    {
       eat
    }
}
endif

Of course, the basic feline operating system would be slightly more complex:

if (time == day);
{
    if (rand >.1);
    {
       nap;
    }
    else if (attention > 0);
    {
       ignore(all);
    }
    else
    {
       get (in way);
    }
else
{
    find (mischief);
}