Here are some reasons that New Yorkers are upset about Ebola reaching their city:
1) The virus is not gluten-free.
2) It is not locally-grown.
3) It leaves a large carbon footprint as it flies across the ocean.
4) Ebola won't fit in a 16oz. cup.
5) Its name mocks the name of their tri-syllabic Saint Obama (PBUH).
6) It is unsustainable.
7) Opposition to any lifeform from Africa appears racist.
8) The virus is waging a war on womyn.
9) Its symptoms include reddening.
10) It shows that there are some undocumented immigrants New Yorkers are opposed to after all.
Can you think of any others?
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