Fairness in Broadcasting

Earlier, there was much ado about the Fairness in Broadcasting Act. I don't see what was so bad about it. It might have actually resulted in some movies where:

• intelligent people live in rural areas, and city dwellers are poor inbred layabouts
• vampires were actually evil, not just misunderstood
• Michael Moore points out the better side of capitalism
• members of the clergy remain faithful and avoid doing evil
• animals do not make wisecracks
• the profits of Big Media were exposed by some plucky young oilfield workers
• characters are not defined by their ethnicity
• neighbors are not wacky
  
• the woman does not fall for the "bad boy"
• fruit carts and glass deliveries are safe from car chases
• the noble American military saves the world from corrupt environmentalists

It would also require the formation of several new cable channels - one to show movies where the husband recovers from the abusive two-timing wife, one to show obedient children and sensible parents, and more than one to show high-budget computer-animated documentaries about Young-Earth Creationism (preferably voiced by Morgan Freeman).