To honor the secular spirit of the season, I propose to ban the term "Have a Happy New Year" for the following reasons:
1) The word "have" fosters a sense of greed, and is offensive to communists and hippies.
2) The word "a" is singular and exclusionary, and is offensive to multiculturalists and pantheists.
3) The word "happy" is offensive to those people who choose to be unhappy, or are otherwise happiness-impaired.
4) The word "new" is discriminatory against anything old, and is therefore offensive to baby-boomers.
5) The word "year" is discriminatory against other periods of time such as eons, centuries, weeks, and nanoseconds.
:)
update: iowahawk has related stories.
1 comment:
We are offended by your overuse of the word offense.
Offensiveness is and should be reserved for the offended not merely the off-ended, or the off-fences. This is also not to be confused with the collision useage of off-fender.
The ACLU will be offensively offending the offenders in court unless your offensive offending is terminated immediately.
Weird
P.S. Thanks for the link awhile back.
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