too long for lolbama

and not exactly the right subject...

two faced

(original link lost)

overheard recently

"i refuse to live in a world where a chicken cannot cross the road without its motives being called into question"

M$

"Seldom have both Microsoft's lack of innovation and their kludgy, ad-hoc approach to software design been explained so concisely."

i can't drive 56k

arbitrarily low speed limits set by a distant and unresponsive government didn't work during the era of the previous worst president ever either.

Rules for feminists

Collected and adapted from the article and comments here:

• We are just as strong as men, yet we need men to escort us or avoid us when we’re alone because all men are potential rapists.
• Since we are just as smart as men, we need affirmative action programs in order to show it.
• We are just as capable as men, yet we need feminist men to defend us and speak on our behalves.
• We stand in solidarity with all women, yet we’re willing to defame and destroy those women who are successful without us or who dare to disagree with us. (In fact, when possible, we prefer getting the feminist men to do it.)
• Since we have the same interests as men, we're not interested in typically male pastimes - it’s the men’s fault for being such misogynists.
• We are just as powerful as men, yet we are perpetual victims. If a woman is not aware of her perpetual victimhood, we will shame her into admitting it, since ours is the only way to think.
• We decry sexism, but value paternalism.
• We advocate for equality and social justice, as long as everyone realizes that we are more important than anyone else.
• We are fully-actualized, independent human beings who refuse to take responsibility for our own actions.
• We believe all women should be able to choose for themselves what they wish to do in life, unless they choose something considered "woman's work".
• Gender stereotypes are false, but all men are filthy rapey beasts to be shunned.
• We will fight for gay rights, while using homosexual slurs in arguments against men.
• We complain about lack of women in male-dominated fields, but are hypersensitive and intolerant of "male culture".
• Because we are strong, we require movies and books to provide us with strong female characters.
• We can engage in joking about sex or touching a man, then cry harassment when a man does the same.
• We want freedom and happiness, but instill fear and anxiety on people (such as "rape culture").
• We vouch for diversity, but treat non-white and foreign women with arrogance, "educating" them and deciding for them what they should want.
• We want men to offer us career opportunities and promotions, recognize our potential and achievements, without approaching us, talking to us, hiring us, including us into their circles - because we might accuse them of harassment for any excuse.
• We are diverse women of many rich diverse backgrounds who all must unflinchingly favor Democratic policies.

Brewdog Dead Pony Club Pale Ale

no matter that i 1) will never use their product, and 2) dislike their marketing,

THIS

is the proper response to the soft tyranny of quangos of all kinds, up to and including the e.u.

the sky is not falling

no
matter
how
often,
how
loudly,
or
how
annoyingly
the
lying
con
men
tell
us
anthropogenic
global
warming
is
coming
soon,
it
has
not,
can
not,
and
will
not
come
true.
it is
a hoax
fueled
by
greed
and
envy
of
prosperity.

(inspired by and expanded from this post)

Hollywood: a class act

(massive profanity warning)

Every time they say "think of the children", hear this.
Every time the kids watch cartoons, hear this.
Every time they play a "classic episode" from the good old days, hear this.
Every time they say "fair and balanced", hear this.
Every time they advertise "fun for the whole family", hear this.

p.s. Every time you see anyone flashing gang signs, hear this.

(Thank April Winchell for the collection of really horrid recordings)

i'm still here

, just don't have much to post about. be back eventually...

having problems with suntrust bank?

and/or robocalls from 800-828-7959?

you're
not
the
only
one.

r-s-p-e-c-t

(i woulda posted sooner but i was out of town)

What does the Fox say?

Aretha Franklin may spell out the word “Respect” several times throughout her synonymous song, but that doesn’t mean Harvard-educated President Obama knows how to spell it.

During a speech at the White House’s Women of Soul concert series, Obama missed a letter when spelling the word out loud, Entertainment Weekly notes.

Obama said: “When Aretha [Franklin] first told us what R-S-P-E-C-T meant to her, she had no idea it would become a rallying cry for African Americans, and women, and then everyone who felt marginalized because of what they looked like or who they loved. They wanted some respect.”

In a subsequent White House press release, President Obama blamed the gaffe on Dan Quayle for stealing that "e" to spell "potatoe".

the right to privacy

All of these spying scandals could be cleared up quickly if it was pointed out how they all violated Roe v Wade.

...or maybe NSA's nosiness can get Roe v Wade overturned. Either way it's a win.

update: welcome imao readers, particularly oppo who commented there:

The NSA’s spying has only two outcomes: Woe vs. Raid.

maybe there is something to this

i think that most of the food scares in the past 30 years (at least) have been blown waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay out of proportion, including the beef hormone issue.

but the other night i saw a ten-year-old girl with a mustache and unibrow...

and frida kahlo didn't have any kids...

star trek vs dune

no, not that "dune"

(from a comment at lileks' bleat)

nasa produced some neat images of sand dunes on mars, which were popularized and satirized on gizmodo.

then, lileks' commenter belaglik boldly went where no photoshopper had gone before!

:)

reruns

valentine's
day
ideas,
again

update 1: the local malcontent commented that he thinks i'm "better than that", which is nice to hear. though i may be completely misunderstanding that thought (l.m. correct me if i am and i'll re-update), but i don't know that there's any basis for it in reality.

this year will be the 26th anniversary of the only valentine's day i ever had an actual valentine. and while i think i rank slightly above average on the romantic ideal spectrum, i barely had the social tools necessary to participate in that one, and it's been downhill on that front ever since.

so, i will give my kudos to all good romantic celebrations this week - from the sideline, as usual.

update 2: this potato seems to agree with that previous post :)

kreatyvleigh spelt to

a couple of days ago, dustbury found probably the worst-ever spelling of "erica" . today i found probably the worst-ever spelling of "steve".

it was the best of reviews, it was the worst of reviews

nro via dustbury:

The annual State of the Union pageant is a hideous, dispiriting, ugly, monotonous, un-American, un-republican, anti-democratic, dreary, backward, monarchical, retch-inducing, depressing, shameful, crypto-imperial display of official self-aggrandizement and piteous toadying, a black Mass during which every unholy order of teacup totalitarian and cringing courtier gathers under the towering dome of a faux-Roman temple to listen to a speech with no content given by a man with no content, to rise and to be seated as is called for by the order of worship — it is a wonder they have not started genuflecting — with one wretched representative of their number squirreled away in some well-upholstered Washington hidey-hole in order to preserve the illusion that those gathered constitute a special class of humanity without whom we could not live.

It’s the most nauseating display in American public life — and I write that as someone who has just returned from a pornographers’ convention.

and it just gets better/worse from there - read it all

what's good for the shrew

the daily rash reports: "Chris Christie’s Staff Blames Bridge Closing on Anti-Islam Video"

meh, i never did like remakes

indirector's cut

imagine if you will...

while filming the the party scene in the movie "say anything", where lili taylor's character sings "that'll never be me", cameron crowe had decided to change that song to sound more like siouxsie and the banshees.

got it?

i imagine it would have sounded something like this ;)