"Negative Space"

A convergence of ideas I just read online inspired this bit of simple but effective photoshoppery:

after the election

ignoring the candidates, i'm just glad soros lost.

see also http://www.imao.us/index.php/2016/11/promises-part-2

how to help the brainwashed?

could it be tough love?

would steps in a program of deprogramming help?

is demonstrating love enough?

would humor help?

is it enough to speak in terms of morality?

with their attention span, i bet a reading list wouldn't help:
https://www.amazon.com/American-Betrayal-Assault-Nations-Character/dp/1250055814
https://www.amazon.com/Sword-Shield-Mitrokhin-Archive-History/dp/0465003109
https://www.amazon.com/New-Lies-Old-Anatoliy-Golitsyn/dp/0945001088
http://disinfo.com/2016/05/kgb-defector-yuri-bezmenovs-warning-to-america/

Rules of Conduct

update 3 (2016): another bump in recognition of the Standardization Committee for Unified Management's success in driving off yet another qualified employee.

update 2 (2010): just bumping this because it's so stinking relevant right now...

update 1 (2009): welcome to those of you who are buried by dust or hated by qa :)

Pursuant to Directive 1D/0T of our Eight Epsilon quality prevention system, the Standardization Committee for Unified Management has determined that employees of the Company may be reprimanded for actions including (but not limited to) the following:

• below-average performance, average performance, and/or above-average performance,
• not following Instructions, and/or following Instructions,
• not giving the customer what (s)he requested, and/or giving the customer what (s)he requested,
• thinking inside the Box, thinking outside the Box, not thinking inside the Box, not thinking outside the Box, and/or thinking whatsoever on Company time,
• failure to Suck Up.

As a material part of this Agreement, the employee agrees that any and all disputes, claims or controversies arising out of or relating to this Agreement shall be determined by final, binding, and possibly confidential, arbitration of the Standardization Committee for Unified Management. By agreeing to submit all disputes, claims and controversies to binding arbitration, the employee expressly waives its rights to have such matters heard by any sensible tribunal. Any award (ha!) or punishment shall be final, binding and conclusive upon the employee, including (but not limited to) the following:

• forfeiture of all future wages or other compensation,
• elimination of positive employment references,
• blacklisting in all relevant professional organizations, and/or
• general smugness accompanying all future Management dealings with employee.

At Eight Epsilon, our stated values are honesty, integrity, trust, and compassion. We strive to eliminate a positive atmosphere where teamwork, competence, pride, and mutual respect provide an opportunity for all employees to succeed.

-----------------------------------------------------

(Disclaimer: The postings on this site are my own and couldn't possibly represent my employer's positions, strategies or opinions. The content on this blog is provided on an "as-is" basis. Neither the City of Hattiesburg nor any of its Hatless residents shall be held liable for any damages whatsoever arising out of the content or use of this blog. Contact your physician immediately if you develop convulsions, tinnitus, fever, vomiting, or a rash after reading this or any satirical post.)

can we be logically consistent?

Elsewhere online, someone speculated that if Caitlyn Jenner should be celebrated for being trans-gendered, then logically Al Jolson should be celebrated for being trans-racial.

Nobody expects the Hispanophobic Inquisition!

The second-most-obvious difference between the anti-communist witch hunt by McCarthy in the 50s and the pro-communist witch hunt by today's SJW industry is that the anti-communists have a sense of decency that can be called upon.

#NoRatingsNoPeace

Theory: the networks are trying to provoke violent race riots at the Oscars to boost ratings https://t.co/WwWWCAWddV

— David Burge (@iowahawkblog) January 25, 2016

Happy New Year!

My resolution is to separate racemic compounds into their enantiomers.

soon it will be time again time to hold your nose and vote

where the truth lies, pt.3

In coverage of creativity-related stories, every once in a while someone will use the phrase "their truth" in reference to whatever the artist is trying to convey.

For better understanding, that phrase should be understood to mean "the artist's infinitesimal subset of Truth, confused with a lot of misunderstanding and hand-me-down nonsense."

pet update

the black dog
no longer bites
or barks.
he just sits
in the corner
glaring at me
and drinking
my milkshake.

#AllLivesMatter

One must wonder why the #BlackLivesMatter movement does not protest Planned Parenthood...

FrankJ on Trump

Random thoughts for Aug.12 (very slightly edited):

“So do you want some sort of coherent politically philosophy, or are you happy with just angry yelling?”

Apparently a large number of people can’t tell the difference between being tough and being thin-skinned and pissy.

Are there people who really didn’t get that Trump is a joke candidate until the Megyn Kelly line?

Was there anything so awful Ted Kennedy could do that he’d lose support? Such is Trump’s base.

I can still be surprised by how silly Trump gets, but I don’t take him seriously enough to get outraged.

*dog repeatedly runs into glass door*
“He never backs down! He just like hero Donald Tromp!”

I’m glad we’re finally cracking down on the number one threat to black people: Bernie Sanders.

Difference between Democrats and Republicans:
Republicans are working really hard to stop the horrible person who is their frontrunner.

You don’t need to be politically correct, but it helps to be correct about something.

Also, go watch The Kronies!

ur head asplode

I wonder which side the Ds will root for when Islamists bomb a gay pride parade...

the hollow world

A couple of today's comments at Lileks got me thinking:

Coolness is a hollow facsimile of maturity.
The effect of drugs is a hollow facsimile of joy.
Prostitution is a hollow facsimile of marital bliss.
The star/celebrity system is a hollow facsimile of true friendship.
Political correctness is a hollow facsimile of morality.

Can you think of others?

Live Long and Prosper

...at other people's expense?

An interesting take on Spock's philosophy.

Not only do Spock’s peacenik inclinations routinely land the Enterprise and the Federation into trouble, his “logic” and “level head” mask an arrogant emotional basket case. Unlike the superhuman android Data, a loyal officer whose deepest longing is to be human, Spock spends most of his life as a freelancing diplomat eager to negotiate with the worst enemies of Starfleet...

...in Star Trek VI... Spock has taken up secret negotiations with the Federation’s mortal enemy, the Klingon Empire, to dismantle the neutral zone and end the military dimension of Starfleet. Then Spock decides the best person to accompany the Klingon high chancellor to a galactic peace conference is Kirk, whom the Klingon’s despise... Furthermore, Spock volunteers Kirk for the job without the captain’s permission. His decision thoughtlessly plays into the hands of the interstellar conspiracy to foment war between the Federation and the Klingons, because the plot’s leaders see Kirk as the perfect fall guy for the assassination of Chancellor Gorkon...

...and it gets better.

SNL40

After the Saturday Night Live 40th Anniversary Special was advertised as "One Night Only", it will play again in a few days. When asked whether the slogan was false advertising, an unnamed NBC spokesperson said no, that it was just mis-repeated.

on islam

two quotes at lileks today:

"no matter how many skulls (islamic terrorists) heap, the moon on their banners will still have an American flag planted on its surface, and they are utterly incapable of doing anything about it."

"Islam: you can practice it peacefully, and many do, but it's not designed that way. Just as you can practice Christianity militantly, but it's not designed that way."

late valentine

first, i forgot to relink the classic "practical valentine".

second, i was listening to online indie music today, and heard several very odd romantic-ish lyrics:

"your lips were like two strips of bacon"
"i used to shower for you, now i rarely bathe"
"love is an open door to a book of your bad poetry"

third, weird al sends mandatory valentines:

Happy Mandatory Valentines Day! pic.twitter.com/pn7bOWQKEL

— Al Yankovic (@alyankovic) February 14, 2015

pun of the day

my pleas for a quieter workplace have fallen on deaf ears.