Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Rules of Conduct

update 2: just bumping this because it's so stinking relevant right now...

update 1: welcome to those of you who are buried by dust or hated by qa :)


Pursuant to Directive 1D/0T of our Eight Epsilon quality prevention system, the Standardization Committee for Unified Management has determined that employees of the Company may be reprimanded for actions including (but not limited to) the following:
  • below-average performance, average performance, and/or above-average performance,
  • not following Instructions, and/or following Instructions,
  • not giving the customer what (s)he requested, and/or giving the customer what (s)he requested,
  • thinking inside the Box, thinking outside the Box, not thinking inside the Box, not thinking outside the Box, and/or thinking whatsoever on Company time,
  • failure to Suck Up.
As a material part of this Agreement, the employee agrees that any and all disputes, claims or controversies arising out of or relating to this Agreement shall be determined by final, binding, and possibly confidential, arbitration of the Standardization Committee for Unified Management. By agreeing to submit all disputes, claims and controversies to binding arbitration, the employee expressly waives its rights to have such matters heard by any sensible tribunal. Any award (ha!) or punishment shall be final, binding and conclusive upon the employee, including (but not limited to) the following:
  • forfeiture of all future wages or other compensation,
  • elimination of positive employment references,
  • blacklisting in all relevant professional organizations, and/or
  • general smugness accompanying all future Management dealings with employee.
At Eight Epsilon, our stated values are honesty, integrity, trust, and compassion. We strive to eliminate a positive atmosphere where teamwork, competence, pride, and mutual respect provide an opportunity for all employees to succeed.

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(Disclaimer: The postings on this site are my own and couldn't possibly represent my employer's positions, strategies or opinions. The content on this blog is provided on an "as-is" basis. Neither the City of Hattiesburg nor any of its Hatless residents shall be held liable for any damages whatsoever arising out of the content or use of this blog. Contact your physician immediately if you develop convulsions, tinnitus, fever, vomiting, or a rash after reading this or any satirical post.)

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

pun time

Did you hear that Adam Ant started a new band with former Pink Floyd and Jefferson Airplane band members? He calls their new style of music "antacid".

Martha burst into her husband's study and asked "What are you doing with all those computers?" George replied "I'm putting them on my network for lan's sake!"

revisionism

i haven't ever been in a left-coast school, so i can't verify this kid's story, but i did see some similar underlying leftist drivel portrayed at the monticello and new gettysburg reeducation camps a couple of years ago...

Monday, June 28, 2010

by the sackload

ann coulter, monday evening:
“When liberals say, ‘nothing is sacrosanct,’ they mean ‘nothing other Americans consider sacrosanct is sacrosanct.’ They demonstrate their open-mindedness by ridiculing other people’s dogma, but will not brook the most trifling criticism of their own dogmas.”

Thursday, June 24, 2010

and now for something completely different

the two oddest b-17 variants you may ever see: real and imagined

you can't spell "Big Oil" without "B.O."

update & bump: the crude thickens...
what’s not receiving a lot of focus is Obama’s own economic interests in preventing Gulf drilling... Obama’s wealth is largely held in two Vanguard funds. Vanguard was among the companies that dumped BP stock shortly before the disaster. It now turns out that BP informed the office of mineral managment that there were problems with the well back in mid-February. That led to the sacking of Birnbaum, no doubt, though Pelosi tried... to blame it on burrowed-in Bush holdovers. Apart from the timing of the stock dumping, and the revelation that the feds had indeed been informed earlier on of potential problems, there’s the issue of Soros’ timely investment in Petrobras, backed up by US billions. Many of us found it scandalous that Obama was opposed to US offshore drilling before the disaster, but ready to invest in offshore drilling for Brazil, which... has the greatest biodiversity on the planet.
---

Chicago corruption reaches across the Atlantic...
Obama is the top recipient of BP (British Petroleum) PAC and individual money over the past 20 years.

U.S. exempted BP's Gulf of Mexico drilling from environmental impact study.
...and into the Gulf of Mexico...

everybody draw muhammad - 5/20

update & bump: if you missed the celebration, you can study at home for next year ;)

the site is dead. long live the sites.

if you need any ideas, here's one inspiration out of many (avoid the "extreme muhammad" page).

Sunday, June 20, 2010

world cup soccer

bzzz! bzzzzzzzz!!!

update: i just thought of one "fun fact" imao missed:

The etymology of the name "vuvuzela" is obscure. Popular myth says that the name "vuvuzela" was coined when a drunken French soccer fan slurred out the name "beelzebub". However, the word is actually the name of the Mayan god of the root canal, a giant flaming bronze alligator whose sharpened drill-like snout bored through the eardrums of his "patients" to perform dental surgery. There is only one hieroglyph in existence of that accursed name, as the mere thought of the "vuvuzela" was simply too gruesome for the Mayan blood-cultists to handle.

:)

Friday, June 18, 2010

the not-so-dark underbelly

update: i just found a cool site that displays airspace maps using the google maps interface - runwayfinder.com

living under one of the most complex airspaces in the us, i see quite a few aircraft every day. lots of airliners around dfw, military aircraft around carswell-nasjrb, and fedex 777s around alliance. i did have two unusual spottings recently though:

the unmistakable outline of a piaggio p.180 avanti today, and an ac130 gunship with a view almost this close a couple of weeks ago.

:D

year of the weasel

order your copy of "the plutarchist cookbook" today!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

epic fail

"(People voted for Obama) because he was a good speaker and said nice, positive things. And I guess a lot of people thought that’s what he’d do as president: stand around and say positive stuff. But when Obama became president, he rightly realized he was actually supposed to do stuff. So he’s tried to do stuff to the best of his limited ability. The result is trillions more in debt, a still failing economy, and half the ocean covered in oil, but hey, he’s trying. And we’re going to yell at him for doing a bad job? It’s like we took a fry cook from McDonald’s and decided to make him a neurosurgeon because he looked good in a surgical mask and then got mad at him when he killed his first patient. Who is really to blame here?"
i think it's still debatable, president hussein may or may not know what he's doing...

update: another vote for the "incompetence" angle

Racism (D)

funny how imao isn't joking this time...

Friday, June 11, 2010

are you smarter than a fifth grader?

or congress?

surprise surprise surprise!

the acorn points to the tree it fell from:
The radical activist group ACORN "works" for the Democratic Party and deliberately promotes election fraud, ACORN employees told FBI investigators, according to an FBI document dump Wednesday.

The documents obtained by Judicial Watch, a watchdog group, are FBI investigators' reports related to the 2007 investigation and arrest of eight St. Louis, Mo., workers from ACORN's Project Vote affiliate for violation of election laws. All eight employees involved in the scandal later pleaded guilty to voter registration fraud.

Project Vote is ACORN's voter registration arm. Project Vote continues to operate despite the reported dissolution of the national structure of ACORN... One employee told the FBI that ACORN headquarters is "[working] for the Democratic Party."

According to one report, an ACORN employee said the purpose of "[f]raudulent cards" was "[t]o cause confusion on election day to keep polls open longer," "[t]o allow people who can't vote to vote," and "[t]o allow to vote multiple times."

Another report quotes an employee saying, "Project Vote will pay them whether cards fake or not - whatever they had to do to get the cards was attitude." Project Vote pays based on the number of cards and "that's why they were so reckless," the report says.

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

the darker underbelly

"A more obvious spectacle of... cultural suicide cannot be imagined."
"(Islamofascism's) goal is hegemony over the Near East, and the imposition of Sharia law, a draconian system of theocratic misogyny. Rather than heaping scorn and abhorrence on these fanatics, the modern intellectual helps, aids, abets, forgives and excuses them, even to the point of refusing to admit what he sees and knows. Instead of expressing solidarity for women trapped behind the veil, or for homosexuals stoned to death by this inhuman law, the modern intellectual blames the Christians for seeking theocracy, heaps scorn and mockery on Christ, and upbraids as racism jokes, criticism, or any other opposition to the Jihad program."
read it all, and this related post

Monday, June 07, 2010

insanity

the least of my objections to this plan to tax new media to support newspapers is that it's not very environmentally-friendly.

Saturday, June 05, 2010

blue O cult

History shows again and again
How nature points up the folly of men...
CRUDEZILLA!

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

it could always get worse

for instance, the media could show up...

or census takers...

philistines

update 1: did you know that sabres and molotov cocktails are considered humanitarian aid? only to the philistines...

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a society of darwin award winners
(The Palestinian people are) backwards, genocidal, hyper-violent, sad-sack Nazi wannabes led by terrorists who would happily murder every Jew on the planet if they could get away with it.

(The Israelis are) a tiny Western democracy surrounded by backwards savages who want to murder them down to the last child because they're Jews. Moreover, despite all the claims to the contrary, they're the most restrained people on earth. If you don't believe that, consider the fact that they could simply drive the Palestinians off their land and take it at any point, but instead, they've chosen to permanently live beside of millions of people who make the Manson family look sane. If the Israelis were somehow replaced by Americans, we'd drive the Palestinians off their land at gunpoint in six months tops -- and we'd be perfectly justified in doing so.

So, that brings us to the relief flotillas... this time around, the Jew-haters on the flotilla made a critical Darwin-Award-worthy error: they assaulted an Israeli commando team with knives, sticks, and guns.
via directorblue

Tuesday, June 01, 2010

bounty

the quicker picker upper

live and learn

if you can

environmentalists didn't cause the oil spill

, but they sure helped:

(quite edited)
Why do we drill in the ultra-deep of the ocean? Environmentalists.

Since it is so much easier, cheaper, and safer, oil companies would much rather drill on land or shallow water. But over the years, environmentalists have succeeded in pushing drilling off land and away from our coastlines.

There are many small pumping units off the side of the road all over the Texas and Oklahoma oilfields, but the pumps are hardly noticeable. If BP had a drilling accident in the Artic National Wildlife Refuge (which has had a 30-year ban on drilling), it would have been on barren land and affected almost no one. But now, we have the biggest environmental disaster in our history.

The people who would like to blame a lack of regulation never stop to consider that part of the blame lies with pushing rigs so far out.

This is a prime example of the law of unintended consequences.

that nutty acorn

...is trying to grow roots